


If I Could Be With You Tonight

by RoseWaterTears



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Assassination Attempt(s), Based on a My Chemical Romance Song, Character Death, Heartbreak, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), M/M, Not Beta Read, Sick Zuko (Avatar), Singing, We Die Like Men, sad sokka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26220457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseWaterTears/pseuds/RoseWaterTears
Summary: Sokka wasn't there for Zuko when he needed him most.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 110





	If I Could Be With You Tonight

Sokka had run from the private royal docks when his ship had finally ended its journey. He ran until he found himself in the courtyard with the turtleduck pond. Zuko’s turtleduck pond. He ran until he was in the infirmary, but he skidded to a halt when he saw Katara working over Zuko. Katara was silently crying while her hands deftly tried to heal what she could, not wanting to accept that things had already progressed too far for her to help. Katara saw Sokka and left, giving the two young men their time.

Sokka knelt by the bed. Zuko’s still form was just so pale, his scar jumping out at Sokka, looking almost like fresh blood, his hair an inky ocean fanning out around his head. He took Zuko’s hand within his own, feeling the too light squeeze he got in return.

“Hey buddy. I heard what happened.” Sokka said gently. Zuko turned his head painstakingly slow to look at Sokka.

“Sokka, I’m so glad you came.” Zuko’s voice was weak and Sokka could barely hear him although he was only a couple feet away from him. 

“Poison is a coward's tool. I know you’re going to beat this. You’ve made it against so much. Remember when you almost froze trying to capture Aang in the North Pole?” Sokka gave a strangled laugh. “You chased us all over the world. You have so much determination. Nothing could stop you.” Sokka’s throat got tight.

“Sokka, I need to tell you something.” Zuko tried to sit up, but he couldn’t hold himself up for long. Sokka helped him up and propped him with a few pillows, so Zuko was still laying down, but had a better view of Sokka. Sokka still knelt at the side of the stark white bed, this time looking up at his best friend.

“Tell me when you get better jerkbender. You can tell me after I kick your butt at some swordbending.” Sokka pressed his forehead against the back of Zuko’s cold hand. He knew that wasn’t right. Zuko’s skin always felt like the fire he bended was coursing through his veins.

“No… I need to say it now. I have many regrets in life, but I don’t want you to be one. I never did the right thing before I met the Gaang. I was weak and a horrible bender. I hated myself. But then I actually met you guys. I became friends with you. I fell for you hard Sokka. I thought that I could handle all the pain in my life if that meant it was all to prepare me to fall in love with you. I knew even back at the temple that I loved you. I knew you could never love me in that sense, but I was happy if you could love me as a friend. You taught me I wasn’t what I thought I was. You taught me that people can grow and change and be better. I want to thank you for that. I love you Sokka. I love you, your mind, your laugh, your voice. I wish I could have heard you sing again.” Zuko looked at Sokka with such sadness in his eyes. 

Sokka felt the tears slowly drip away. “Zuko, you’re such an idiot. I love you too. With every single fiber of my being. Ever since Boiling Rock.” Sokka leaned in and pressed his lips gently against the Firelord’s. He pulled back, and sat there for a few moments. Zuko had a smile on his face when he drew his final breath. Sokka saw those golden eyes turn dull and fade.

Sokka’s sobs came silently at first, building into these great body wracking sobs. He doesn’t know how long he was there, staring at his friend, his love, his home. Katara came and guided him to a bed chamber that he routinely used when he was here. 

Sokka wasn’t there when Zuko needed him most. He wasn’t there when the first attempt had happened. Just three months into Zuko’s reign. He wasn’t there when Zuko had expressed his worry at night. 

Zuko had written everyone of the first attempt. Had written Sokka of the nightmares he was having, and how he hadn’t gotten more than a few hours of sleep in that week. Sokka found out through Aang that it was a knife through Zuko’s side, and that he had lost so much blood that when Iroh found him, he thought his nephew was already dead. But Zuko was strong and pulled through. He survived against all odds. Why was this instance so different?

Sokka couldn’t understand why Zuko hadn’t told him that. Why did he have to find out from someone else how brutal the first attempt was? But if Zuko had loved him, then he could try to understand, maybe. Understand that Zuko didn’t want who he held precious, to worry too much.

Now it was just a month shy of the first full year of his coronation. They didn’t even give him a whole year. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka rose with the sun, just like his favorite firebender would. He dressed in his best Water Tribe Formals, but kept his hair out of it’s normal wolftail. Zuko once told him that he liked it down. Every movement and every process was done on auto. Sokka couldn’t even feel himself anymore. He couldn’t quite get it through that Zuko was gone. 

He stood in the courtyard surrounded by his chosen family. Toph and Katara stood on either side of him, and held his hands while Aang stood behind him and Katara. The early morning sun climbed higher into the sky. 

Zuko was laid in front of them, and a fire sage was blessing his body and soul so that he may rest among Agni and forever be a part of her eternal fire. Once the sage was finished, Iroh set the prye on fire and they all stood there looking into the flames. It was a small memorial service. Just the four of them along with Iroh and the fire sage. Sokka knew that Zuko would have wanted it to be like this. To be intimate.

Sokka stayed in that courtyard the longest. He stayed after Katara and Aang left. He stayed after Toph had cried, and after Iroh and the fire sage left to give a nationwide announcement. He stayed after the flames had died out and all was left was his ashes to be collected into an urn. He stayed until the sun and Agni left and was replaced with the moon and Yue. 

Sokka sat alone and sang. He knew Zuko only heard him sing once, but that was all it took for Zuko to gush over how beautiful his voice was. Sokka never sang much since it wasn’t manly enough. But he sang for Zuko once more, his voice hoarse and raspy from the tears. He sang the memorial song of his tribe. He sang lullabies of both Water Tribe and Fire Nation. Finally, he sang his feelings. 

_ If I could be with you tonight _

_ I would sing you to sleep _

_ Never let them take the light behind your eyes _

_ One day I'll lose this fight _

_ As we fade in the dark _

_ Just remember you will always burn as bright _

_ Be strong and hold my hand _

_ Time becomes for us, you'll understand _

_ We'll say goodbye today _

_ And I'm sorry how it ends this way _

_ If you promise not to cry _

_ Then I'll tell you just what I would say _

_ If I could be with you tonight _

_ I would sing you to sleep _

_ Never let them take the light behind your eyes _

_ I'll fail and lose this fight _

_ Never fade in the dark _

_ Just remember you will always burn as bright _

_ Sometimes we must grow stronger and _

_ You can't be stronger in the dark _

_ When I'm here, no longer _

_ You must be stronger _

_ If I could be with you tonight _

_ I would sing you to sleep _

_ Never let them take the light behind your eyes _

_ I failed and lost this fight _

_ Never fade in the dark _

_ Just remember you will always burn as bright _

Sokka’s voice sang out for the last time that night.

**Author's Note:**

> I started listening to MCR this morning and I couldn't get this fanfic idea out of my head. EVEN after I changed the song. I may or may not have cried.


End file.
